Alright people. In celebration of our now over 100 page views and 4th of July, I thought I would do a review of one of Americas most Iconic games. Duke Nukem. Now For those of you who have heard bad stuff about it...it is all a lie. The people who gave it bad reviews are complete idiots (yes I just straight up said that) and they expected call of duty. If it is not COD then it is no good. That is how half of the people out there review games out there. Utter garbage. I am here to set the record straight if anything. Now I will tell you right now, This game was a game that I was waiting for to pop up for a very long time. It brought back the nostalgic effect of gaming when it was at some of its best. duke nukem was an amazing game to hit the world as of recent. Granted it had it's flaws here and there, But then again, What game doesn't?
Ok let me start out with this, It is Duke Nukem though and through. You don't want anyone under the age of 17 playing this and I mean it. You start out playing the game getting a blowjob by a pair of twins. Is that a good start? yes. Now as you go on through the story you find yourself in even more adult situations, Lap dances with women with no tops (meaning you see bewbs! NO CENSORS! :D), Picking up shit out of a toilet, watching the twins make a sex tape (if you find the way), and getting a BJ through a glory hole in a bathroom of a strip club. Now that is what I call an M Rated game! As you keep going you get to kick complete ass throughout the entire campaign as the King Himself. Destroying aliens and blowing of heads with the classic style of FPS gameplay that Duke has always delivered. No this is not COD, Nor is it anywhere close to it. It is True Duke. If you want to play Duke, Then this what you want to get.
Now the only complaints I have are few and far between. One is the change of weaponry. There is one change but that change is insanely huge (for me at least) In the previous Duke games you always got your nice Golden Desert Eagle Right? Nope, Not this time, With this day and age obsessing over the stupid 1911 you instead get a gold m1911 as your pistol. What the hell is this! Granted it was my most used gun in the game, but still! What The Freak! I want to blow pigcop heads off with a Damned Desert Eagle! It was one change I did not like but I got past it.
Wall boobs....yes I said wall boobs. they are women who have been mutated to a point where they become part of the scenery (or they are just there due to the perverted minds behind the game) that you can slap and play with. You get to fondle boobs that are built into teh walls. This was both Disturbing and awkward as I got an ego boost from slapping them. As Duke said "So wrong yet, So right!" Very weird. But not a game breaker at all.
The loading times. If you do not like loading times and have no patience then You will hate this part. even if you just loaded and somehow managed to die in 1 second you would still have to go through a good 30 second loading screen every time you got to a new area. It is long and I did not like it, But if you have hard drive room to spare install the game to your HDD and you should be good to go. Unless you have the PC version and the loading is actually shorter than the Xbox version. But again, Not really a game breaker.
The weapon allowance. In the last games you could carry all the guns you could ever want, But in this one they went with modern gaming and chose to only allow you to have 2 guns at any given time. Not a game breaker and it made it a bit more fun to try and survive, But the times I went up against certain bosses I was really unhappy without my shrink gun and freeze ray to play with. But meh, At least the gore was still fun, and that boss with 3 boobs was fun to kill too.
i was overall pleased to an extreme degree with this game. I did the normal difficulty first and then pumped it up to the hardest. The hardest mode was surprisingly survivable But barely. I am ashamed to say, I gave up after being owned by flying ships too many times and I just could not keep going. but hey, i still had some fun. Now when you beat the game you unlock cheats. yes Cheats...on a game of this day. You get unlimited health, Ammo, Big head mode, 3D freeze ray, and some other stuff I forgot about. But this made it fun to goof around with the freeze ray and the shrink gun.
Mutliplayer: sucked in my opinion. it is terrible But you don't buy Duke for the Multiplayer now do you? If you do, Then go back to COD and sit in a corner like the little child you are. >:( But other than that, This game gets a 9.0 out of 10 for me. if they had kept a few things such as the eagle and the weapon allowance, I would have given it a 9.5, proper multiplayer would make it a 10, but hey, The game still got an A. Please if anything (if you are 17+ of age) Give this game a try. It was funny, gory, perverted, and crude sometimes. Simply amazing.
Until next Time, SirSlaughter Out!
i agree with you on the online but then again they only worked on that for alittle while since for online gameplay people only play CoD or Halo. But its great to see someone give this game an Honest review without mentioning how its not like CoD and thats why its not good :I
ReplyDeleteawesomness i think i might consider buying this now just cuz of the boobs! ( i like boobs)
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